Stephen King Shakes Up Publishing with Web Book. Stephen King unleashed what could become a publisher's worst nightmare on Monday, selling the first installment of his gruesome tale "The Plant" directly to readers by posting it on his Web site. At first I was conflicted about this, but then I began to think about some of the figures I've heard vis-à-vis artists' percentages versus those of the publishers/record companies/studios, and now I'm all for this. (Some of the figures I've heard is one dollar per CD sold, or for commercial actors - who are in a big strike right now - less than 1% of the cost of a commercial goes to "talent".) I think circumventing the normal pipeline of distribution is fantastic. Shake things up a bit. Napster and such are similarly shifting the rules and shaking things up. Maybe record companies will think twice before they continue to make artists pay for their own videos (which is just fucking ridiculous) or charging seventeen bucks for CD's, when they cost LESS to make then tapes.

Britney Spears Dresses to Deal with Sweat, Not Sex. "I only wear these crop tops because other clothes would make me sweat when I dance," the 18-year-old singer told Germany's InStyle magazine in an interview released Monday. And she only got those huge breast implants to keep her from falling over backwards.

Disney, Allen Working on Second 'Clause'. The Walt Disney Co. and Tim Allen are moving forward with a sequel to "The Santa Clause" with the picture slated for a November 2001 release. This has "Another Stakeout" written all over it. I don't know exactly why I enjoy seeing entertainers I dislike making desperation moves like this, but I do.

Gene Simmons Sizes Up 'Sable'. Rocker Gene Simmons is developing a feature based on the comic book series "Jon Sable, Freelance." I know people are rabid about their KISS, but really, Hollywood keeps making deals with this guy and what has he done? The last thing he did was "Detroit Rock City", which tanked big time. Someone explain the logic of this to me.

'Tree' Now Growing at MGM. The director of "Wayne's World II" is working on this comedy, "involving a low-level White House employee who goes to the Pacific Northwest in search of a presidential Christmas tree. The White House staffer hooks up with a quirky truck driver and hijinks ensue." Here's how you know a comedy is all concept and little substance: you see the word "quirky", and the phrase, "hijinks ensue".

Garfunkel Wonders About Fame Without Simon. I guess this is some interview with the singer in which they ask him about Paul Simon -- keeping the percentage for interviews in which he's been asked about Paul Simon at 100%. "In many ways, Paul was the engine of Simon and Garfunkel..." Really Art? And maybe Simon would not have made it without Garfunkel's voice? "I wonder if he realizes that. That is as close as I am going to get to any trouble. You will hear nothing else like that. I love Paul," he said. I really have nothing to add. Poor Art.

Disney to continue "Air Bud" franchise. Disney's "Air Bud" franchise is alive and kicking, even if the original canine star isn't. "Air Bud 3" has wrapped production with a new dog filling in for the one who died of cancer. Now that's just tacky. Would they continue "Everybody Loves Raymond" if Ray Romano died? Hm, actually, that's an idea...

Giuliani's wife back in "Vagina Monologues". Of course she is.

Man, there's not a whole lot of interesting stuff happening out there right now. I had a good weekend, by the way, thanks for asking. My cell phone woes continue. I went to a party on Saturday. A ball game on Sunday with a lot of young Hollywood behind-the-scenesters. Threw peanuts. Made "Yo Mama" jokes. Sweated. Watched the Dodgers beat the Giants, dammit. Stayed up last night until 3am on the phone, which was a bad idea as my eyeballs are currently bleeding.

Oh, and I got one of my favorite emails ever. All it said was this:

"WHAT IS YOUR SITE ABOUT"

Yeah, I don't know either.

And on that note, adieu, bitches.

---

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

 
 
Stay You say I only hear what I want to. You say I talk so all the time so. And I thought what I felt was simple, and I thought that I don't belong, and now that I am leaving, now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you. Yeah yeah, I missed you. And you say I only hear what I want to: I don't listen hard, I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running to anyone, anywhere. I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no... speaking of which. No no no. My former friends and drinking buddies, those bastards Orbach and Waterston, were both nominated for emmys. No no no.
 
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