I complain of work and the loud talking and the guy cutting his nails right now by me and the boredom and the soul-suckingness of it... But I like some of the people and it's easy and I have flexibility and it pays well and there are free sodas. Oh, and yes, I have a Herman Miller Aeron chair.

I complain about my apartment... but my shitty neighbor moved out and the landlord is attentive and it's in a nice neighborhood and it's cheap and attractive and I've had tons of great times there and people like it and it's very much me.

I complain about the shitty radio in LA... but I can listen to CD's in the car... like the new Black Eyed Peas and the new Radiohead and the new Pearl Jam and Weezer and The Pixies and Luscious Jackson and Milt Jackson and Dinosaur Jr. and you can't stop me.

I complain about having few family members left... but I love my mother and sister to cousins very very much.

I complain about certain actors in my plays... but most of them are doing a great job and I'm very excited to see what the evening turns into and honored that they've chosen to do my work. It's pretty damn thrilling.

I complain about friends doing things that bug me... but I have an insanely talented and loyal and fun and varied (and expanding) group of friends. I cherish them all.

I complain about all the extra work I have to do... but those things I've taken on, like MBTV and 3WA, I do because I believe in them and ultimately they are a whole lot of fun.

I complain about the business... but I have a wonderful team of people who believe in me and my work and who are working very hard for me. They don't know how much that means to me.

I complain about how hard this year has been... but some of the greatest things have also happened to me this year. I've had some wonderful things happen career-wise, I've discovered I can truly love a cat, and I've met some people who are more important to me than I ever could have ever expected; perhaps more than they know.

I complain about Los Angeles... but... er... Happy Thanksgiving!

The Anna Nicole Smith Happy Song Corner

 
 
You don't have to always fuck her hard, in fact sometimes that's not right to do. Sometimes you've gotta make some love, and fuckin' give her some smooches too. Sometimes you've got to squeeze. Sometimes you've got to say please. Sometimes you've got to say, "I'm gonna fuck you. Softly. I'm gonna screw you. Gently. I'm gonna hump you. Sweetly. I'm gonna ball you. Completely." And then you say, "Hey I brought you flowers." And then you say, "Wait a minute, Sally. I think I got something in my teeth, could you get it out for me." Now that's fuckin' teamwork. "What's your favorite posi-sh? That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you. What's your favorite dish? I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from Pink Dot. Then I'm gonna love you completely. Then I'll fuckin' fuck you discretely Then I'll fuckin' fuck you completely. And then I'm gonna fuck you hard." ... speaking of which. I'd like to give thanks for all the lies spread about me lately. Thank you very much, fuckers. Oh, and this: Turkey, y'all. That's all I really have to say. As whoever said, once -- bring it on, y'all. Bring It On.
 
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