Clint Eastwood Backs Change in Disability Bill. Clint is going to bat for a law that would make it harder for handicapped people to sue businesses for lack of accessibility without fair warning. It's ironic that Clint would come out on the side opposing people in wheelchairs, seeing as how in a few years he's going to need one.

Fox to Add 9 New Shows; 'X-Files' Returns. I watched the X-Files last week for the first time in a loooong while, and man, was it awful. A huge fan of the show told me that was the worst episode ever, but seriously, The Parent 'Hood is more entertaining. By the way, does anyone remember the early Fox show called Babes, about 3 really fat women? Or was that just my twisted imagination?

UPN Adds Two Dramas, Two Comedies to Fall Schedule. Now that UPN has a hit, the WWF Show "Smackdown", they're feeling cocky. "Smackdown has given UPN an identity, a brand," Tom Nunan, UPN's head programmer, told advertisers at the so-called up-front meetings in New York. But you kinda gotta feel bad for the guy. You know he struggled for years to carve out a niche for the network, and suddenly Smackdown's a hit and it's their defacto "identity". It's kind of like that Darva Conger chick. I guess, like it or not, you just have to run with shit like that.

Veteran Edward Woodward to Be Bond's Boss. TV's The Equalizer is the new "M". Maybe he can team up with the new "Q" to invent a car that Pierce Brosnan's drunk son can't drive off a cliff.

Mick Jagger's Mother Dies at 87. I should probably avoid the Mother's Little Helper jokes and just move on, right? Right.

HBO Orders Up More 'Oz'. We're talking the prison show, not The Wizard Of. "Daddy's" and Shivs and Anal Rape, oh my!

"The Outer Limits," which airs on cable outlets Showtime and Sci-Fi Channel and in broadcast syndication, is ending its run. The show, which features such very interesting actors as Charlton Heston, Amamda Plummer, Robert Loggia, Cicely Tyson, Swoosie Kurtz, Hal Holbrook, Kelly McGillis, Michael Moriarty and Wallace Langham, is ending after 132 episodes. I literally was not aware of the existence of this show. That is not a good sign as to this show's popularity, my friends.

Prince Reclaims His Name. Prince now wants to be known as Prince again, rather than The Artist or that symbol or TAFKAP whatever he's been called since 1993. This is so easy to make fun of, but all I care about is this: when is he going to make a record as fresh as Purple Rain? Is it ever going to happen or should I stop waiting? Listen to that album again if you haven't lately. Man that's some good shit. I also admire him in theory for his struggle against the music labels. He promised recently not to, "give up the store to Forrest Gump accounting firms who think a royalty check is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you'll get." That's kind of funny.

Julie Andrews Says She Yearns to Sing Again. Julie Andrews, British star of the classic film musical "The Sound of Music" said on Thursday she hopes to sing again, despite losing her voice following throat surgery. Yes, she'll be starring in a rival of "The King and I" opposite Christopher Reeve at the Inyourdreams Theatre in Whenpigsfly, New York.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY: Wow. I can't remember. I think I stayed in bed all day knitting. Most likely.

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

 
 
I know this pain. Why do lock yourself up in these chains? No one can change your life except for you. Don't ever let anyone step all over you. Just open your heart and your mind. Is it really fair to feel this way inside? Some day somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry. Don't you know? Don't you know things can change? Things'll go your way. If you hold on for one more day. Can you hold on for one more day? Things'll go your way. Hold on for one more day... speaking of which. When I was 17 I met this little gang-member minxy named Donna Sheridan up over on 178th and boy, she used to drive me bananas! It was a very hot summer and when my gang, Larry King and the Irritable Bowels, were done rumbling, we used to cruise over to 178th and give the business to Donna and her Pink Hussies friends. Well, one night we were all hopped up on Necco Waffers and Bosco, and we took a Magic Marker to Donna's gang jacket and turned the "H" into a "P". Boy was that funny. But she's didn't see it that way. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but Donna Sheridan held me down on the steps of her brownstone and made me cry. Funny thing is, they were tears of pleasure and joy. And thus began my career as a "bottom". God bless that little tramp.
 
 
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