So I was talking to my mom about my very very busy sister, and my mom informed me that my sister bought a Pug puppy.

The fact that I had not heard this news direct from the source was disturbing enough. My sister has just been living la vida loca lately and has kinda dropped off the face. That's cool. I love her and miss talking to her all the time, but I understand. I'm proud of her. You would be too. But I hate feeling like such a jewish grandmother every time I talk to her, all passive-aggressively complaining that she never calls or emails anymore. She finally did email me today to tell me all about it, so that's cool. But I digress...

Now, when I was out visiting her in September, she had a new downstairs neighbor in this duplex in which she lives. The neighbor is this big nutso drinkin' smokin' former combat photographer brassy blonde who lives alone, with three pugs. The pugs are fucking cute, but weird. They run snorting around the backyard, rolling all over each other. I spent a lot of time studying Twelfth Night and sipping beer out on my sister's back porch, and whenever I'd make a noise, the three pugs (one of who has one eye due to an auto accident) sit down simultaneously and look up at me, tongues out, panting. Very politely wondering when I am going to come the fuck down already and play with them. They never bark, they just stare with their 5 bug-eyes. I didn't get a lot of studying done.

So naturally my sister falls in love with these pugs and has been all about getting one. She'd have a constant babysitter and the dog would have playmates and blah blah blah. So the other day while trying to find housing for one of her wacko psych. clients, she comes across a pug puppy for adoption, and fuck it, goes and gets the thing.

Now I was always a bit worried my sister was turning into Crazy Cat Lady. I mean, she's a totally hip chick and is always out partying so I don't mean it in a hermetic way, I just mean that she got these two cats and just loves them to death. They run her house and she talks about them All The Time. So getting a dog should be a good thing. Should balance everything out, right?

Wrong.

Pug People Are Fucking Insane.

I'm not kidding.

You don't believe me? Check it out:

You understand???

She named it Earl. Earl. Do you see what I'm saying...

Meanwhile...

...I know some of you with overactive and dirty imaginations are going misinterpret this, but where I work, I am exposed constantly to photos of little girls wearing make-up.

Let me just say this: I find the notion of little girls wearing make-up, incredibly disturbing.

People. Do you understand what make-up is for? Take lipstick. Lipstick, from what I've heard, was originally developed and worn to mimic and suggest the color a woman's lips darken to when she is sexually aroused! Sexually aroused! Scary, no?

Elsewhere...

...Frank's film, which was supposed to shoot this upcoming weekend, has stopped for the time being. Not for a bad reason though. Frank hooked up with a really good producer who is desperately trying to raise the budget of the piece. In other words, they're running around town as we speak trying to get together something like, oh, say, a million fucking dollars, whereas before the budget was a quarter that. And since we're going to sxsw in just over a week, there is little time. So the shoot will continue when we get back. Anyone in Austin have tons of money lying around and want to get into the exciting world of Independent Cinema? Hello? Where are you going? Crap.

Finally...

...I'm going to keep harping on this until everyone fucking bows down, but I'm still ultra-confused and pissed as to why Three Kings is getting so jacked at the Oscars. So... since all my friends are sick of me talking about this movie, why don't you tell me what your favorite scene was. We can commiserate together.

The Corin "Corky" Nemec Happy Song Corner

 
 
What can I do, what can I be, when I'm with you I want to stay there. If I'm true I'll never leave, and if I do I know the way there. Ooo, then I suddenly see you. Ooo, did I tell you I need you, every single day of my life. Got to get you into my life. I was alone, I took a ride, I didn't know what I would find there. Another road where maybe I could see another kind of mind there. Ooo, then I suddenly see you. Ooo, did I tell you I need you... speaking of which. I have nothing pithy to say. except, if you're love with someone right now, roll over and kiss them. that's all i'm saying.
 
 
  home   back   index   next   howl