Last night I watched the second episode of Road Rules. It really pissed me off for some reason. Naturally, now I have to recap it so I can take my aggressions out in print. I actually got a piece of hate mail for my first recap. Some douche accusing me of hypocrisy for using the term "redneck" and yet condemning racism. I guess redneck is being equated to a racist slur. I'm not sure. But my reaction to criticism like that is always amusing to me. I attack back, appearing outwardly to be very angry at the insinuation and the sheer audacity of someone talking shit to me. I often seek confrontation when necessary and am actually quite good at it. However, secretly, it makes me cringe. Some people enjoy it. Some people actively solicit flames - I try to avoid them. I don't aim to offend anyone. Seriously. But it sometimes happens. Being mostly a comedy-type writer person, I do and will certainly piss people off. My comedy group has been accused of being occasionally offensive. People have written me angrily here, complaining that I made fun of their favorite actor or used the word "retard" or "gay". However, I have no interest in being a gentle funny like a Bill Cosby or an Ellen. And I guess sometimes I can hurt. Not that I think in this case anything I said was even remotely offensive, but still... Anyway, my point is that I'm not one who relishes controversy. I just want people to laugh and like me. And not everyone does/will. As I said to this person with way too much time on her hands, if you don't like it, don't read. And it goes the same with me in person - and people have occasionally expressed their frustration or dislike towards me by just dropping out of my life. I hate it, but people disappear. I feel people, people I care about, disappearing from me even now - and I'm learning that I can't do anything to keep it from happening. Sometimes they have to go.

But I understand. Sometimes it's hard being around all this wonderfulness...

But speaking of Road Rules, I was talking about it with my mom, and she said that she's been watching a English spin on these reality shows, called 1900's House, or some shit. I'm sure many of you watch it or at least know about it, but I find it incredibly funny that while we're throwing people on desert islands and stuffing them in an RV, the English force a family to live as if they were living 100 years ago. Something about that cracks me up. (There is a great lesson inherent in the show - a message to those who decry the "difficult times" in which we live. You think this is difficult, try bathing without running hot water for a few months, and then talk shit.)

Last night I was pissy and antsy, and so I went to see Me, Myself & Irene. Sucked. Aside from a few of the grosser jokes and 3 sub-characters (you know who I'm talking about), it was fairly dull. I felt like I'd seen it all before - from the Farelley Brothers themselves. Renee Zellwegggggggger had nothing much to do except pout her lips and squint her already squinty eyes, and I thought though his physical work was amazing, Jim Carrey's vocal choice for his alter-ego ended up holding him back.

Then I came home and realized I had NOTHING for dinner. I ended up eating old lettuce and a 3 year-old can of turkey chili. Kinda nasty.

God, I'm glad I'm leaving town next week. I'm a bit burned-out on my life. My plans: drink coffee, write, work out, see friends, see movies, drink beer, read, sleep. Sounds good, eh?

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

 
 
I remember it. Dublin in a rainstorm. Sitting in the long grass in summer keeping warm. I remember it. Every restless night. We were so young then we thought that everything we could possibly do was right. Every move stolen from our very eyes. I wonder where you went to. And tell me, when did the light die? You will rise. You'll return. Phoenix from the flame. And we will learn and we will rise. You'll return, being what you are. There is no other Troy for you to burn. And I never meant to hurt you. I swear I didn't mean those things I said. I never meant to do that to you, next time I'll keep my hands to myself instead. Oh, and I sure love you. What do you want to do? Does she need you like I do? Do you love her? Is she good for you? Does she hold you like I do? Do you want me? Should I leave? I know you're always telling me that you love me but just sometimes I wonder if I should believe. Oh, I love you. God, I love you I'd kill a dragon for you. And die. But I will rise and I will return. The phoenix from the flame. I have learned. I will rise. And you'll see me return, being what I am. There is no other Troy for me to burn. And you should have left the light on. You should have left the light on. Then I wouldn't have tried, you'd never have known. And I wouldn't have pulled you tighter. No, I wouldn't have pulled you close. I wouldn't have screamed, "no I can't let you go" if the door wasn't closed. No, I wouldn't have pulled you to me. No, wouldn't have kissed your face. You wouldn't have begged me to hold you if we hadn't been there in the first place. But I know you wanted me to be there. Every look that you threw told me so. But you should have left the light on. You should have left the light on. Wouldn't have made it burn away. But you're still spitting fire. Make no difference what you say. You're still a liar. You're still a liar. You're still a liar... speaking of which. I remember it. An hour ago when Sam Waterston and Tony Randall left after drinking half of my liquor cabinet. Even though I asked Sam if he wasn't just coming over because all the bars had closed and his cupboard was dry, he denied it. Now, look at my Chivas bottle lying on the floor where that bum Tony dropped it. Sam, you're still a liar.
 
 
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