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Alright bitches. Sit back. Grab your box of Fiddle Faddle, your jump rope, and measure out a few lines of crank, because it's time once again for Stee Takes A Look At The Trades. Fox Enlists 'Boot Camp' for Wednesday. The usually very stupid Fox Network, having retardedly only made seven episodes total of the wildly popular Temptation Island, have decided what to put in its place when it goes off the air. The show follows male and female contestants as they submit themselves to military training under ex-U.S. Army drill instructors. Okay, I'm no television executive (you can tell by the fact that I still have a sense of humor and I'm not addicted to pills) but even I figured out weeks ago that the reason Temptation Island is doing so well, and in a spot that has long been trouble for Fox, is the sex. Sex sells on television. I've known that shit since I used to watch the Smurfs (don't ask.) Julia Louis-Dreyfus Near Deal for New NBC Show. It seems that she and her husband Brad Grey are pitching a new show in which she plays a lounge signer. They say they want the show to take place in real time and commercial free each week, and to only do thirteen episodes, much fewer than typical for a full season order. Commercial free. Well, how the hell can NBC pass that shit up? Timothy Hutton Eyes John Sayles' 'Gold Coast.' Timothy Hutton is in negotiations to star opposite Angela Bassett and Edie Falco in "Gold Coast," the next feature written and directed by John Sayles. I heard the first title for this film was "C-List." NBC Officially Greenlights A Pilot Starring Thong Enthusiast-R&B Crooner Sisqo. If Sisqo's show actually succeeds, just think how embarrassing for people like Michael Richards and George Wendt and Nathan Lane who couldn't keep a show alive for more than a few episodes. Actually the mere fact that Jesse aired as many times as it did should make Michael Richards cry. But wait, does this mean Sisqo's Shakedown is off MTV? Ah, crap. Lopez Denies Her Body's Insured for $1 Billion. I wonder what the deductible is on her ass alone. Destination Films Reaches Final Stop. Indie distributor Destination Films is closing shop after a few years in business. Really?! I don't understand how they didn't succeed after releasing such films like "Bats," "Drowning Mona," "Eye of the Beholder," "Thomas and the Magic Railroad," "Whipped" and "Beautiful." Shocking. CBS Lands Comedy From "Frasier" Duo. CBS has snagged the new comedy pilot from two former executive producers of "Frasier." The show revolves around an eccentric family running a New England restaurant/inn. The two execs promised the show will be "every bit as bland and strangely unpleasant to watch as Frasier."
Green light. Seven Eleven.
You stop in for a pack of cigarettes.
You don't smoke, don't even want to.
Hey now - check your change.
Dressed up like a car crash.
The wheels are turning but you're upside down.
You say when he hits you, you don't mind.
Because when he hurts you, you feel alive.
Is that what it is?
Red lights, grey morning.
You stumble out of a hole in the ground.
A vampire or a victim.
It depends on who's around.
You used to stay in to watch the adverts.
You could lip synch to the talk shows.
And if you look, you look through me.
And when you talk it's not to me.
And when I touch you, you don't feel a thing.
If I could stay - then the night would give you up.
Stay, and the day would keep its trust.
Stay, and the night would be enough.
Far away, so close.
Up with the static and the radio.
With satellite television you can go anywhere.
Miami, New Orleans, London, Belfast and Berlin.
And if you listen I can't call.
And if you jump, you just might fall.
And if you shout I'll only hear you.
If I could stay - then the night would give you up.
Stay - then the day would keep its trust.
Stay with the demons you drowned.
Stay with the spirit I found.
Stay, and the night would be enough.
Three o'clock in the morning.
It's quiet and there's no one around.
Just the bang and the clatter.
As an angel runs to ground.
Just the bang and the clatter.
As an angel hits the ground... speaking of which. Three o'clock in the morning. It's quiet and there's no one in my cell. Just myself and... hey, there is someone in my cell. Oh, it's you. Oh crap. Hey, uh... you want some smokes? Really. Take them. Take them all. This? It's just a script I've been offered and- Yes, I'll absolutely get you a callback the minute you get out of here. Oh, sure. Take it. Take it all. Enjoy.
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