Actually, there are really only two other things I want to talk about. Sure, stuff are happening in Hollywood, but I'm preoccupied with these things. But, quick wrap-up: Malcolm in the Middle creator signs big deal. Dana Giacchetto, the money manager accused of bilking millions out of stars, broke down in court and cried and babbled about thinking he was put on the earth to do good when he was a kid and how he's disgraced himself and his family. Hee. Helena Bonham Carter will be in Planet of the Apes. So far, I can totally see the four announced cast members as monkeys (Giamatti, Clarke Duncan, Marky Mark, and HB Carter). Luke Perry is going to be on Oz. (I'll avoid the obvious joke here.) Someone sold a script about a lab accident that causes a guy to get dumber the deeper he falls in love. If you read the trades, you see that nearly every single romantic comedy sold is about how someone is "magically transformed" into some wacky thing (his former self, a woman, a dog, a super-stud) or sent into the past, or made to switch bodies with someone. How many of these scripts actually make it to the screen? Exactly. And Jack Wagner was cast on a new Dynasty-style soap. Of course he was.

So...

...I found this photo, taken during the Hollow Man premiere, and I just had to post it. Send me your captions and/or comments. I just think it's the funniest thing. Shue looks seriously mental. And Kevin looks like he just hates her. Discuss.

SAG is having a commercial strike, yes? You know about this. Well, there was an article in the trades today that killed me. Here's part of it:

Yes, the actors are being retarded and probably saw Norma Rae a few too many times, but the real shocker for me is that these fucking miserable stage parents dragged their kids through people yelling "Fuck you" at them. (A SAG insider tells me this is all a lie, but who knows.) Sure, some of the kids want to be actors and the parents just go along with it, but I've seen stage parents in action millions of times here in L.A. Some are fucking sick people who don't want to work and think their children are the fucking shit and so quit their jobs and try to make a living off their child, who meanwhile, doesn't get to have a childhood. It's appalling. And this goes to show the lengths to which they will go. It's shocking. By the way, I just included the Rob Schnieder thing cuz I thought it was amusing coming, as it did, at the end of this article. (He's OK.)

Finally...

...I just thought this and this were funny.

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

 
 
Wir sprengten jeden Rahmen. Als wir zusammen kamen. War's wie eine Explosion. Und ich schwör' ich spür' die Erschütterung immer noch. Ich weiss du rennst und doch. Bist du erst nah und da wenn du in meinen Armen liegst. Ich geh' zu Boden wenn du nicht mit mir fleigst. Oh Baby, bitte bitte lauf lauf gib nicht auf. Iich hab' dich vermisst. Es fressen mich Dämonen auf wenn du nicht bei mir bist. Ich tu' was du verlangst hab' keine Angst. Ich lass' dich nicht allein denn uns gehört die Welt. Wir können alles sein doch jetzt bist du auf dich gestellt. Komm zu mir. Komm zu mir...zurück. Ich bin wegen dir hier. Zum Glück bleibt uns noch Zeit bis zur Ewigkeit. Ein Stück deines Daseins steckt in mir. Und ich halt' es so fest doch die Erinnerrung bringt mich um. Weil es mich nicht loslässt. Bitte bleib' bei mir, verzeih' mir. Lasse es dich nicht zerstören. Wir kommen frei hier. Wenn wir nur auf die Liebe schwör'n. Es gibt sonst nichts auf dieser Welt was uns zusammenhält. Ausser dern was du mir gibst wenn du mich liebst. Und deshalb Baby lauf lauf bitte gib nicht auf. Ich hab' dich vermisst. Es fressen mich Dämonen auf wenn du nicht bei mir bist. Ich tu' was du verlangst hab' keine Angst. Ich lass' dich nicht allein denn uns gehört die Welt. Wir können alles sein sind wir auf uns gestellt... speaking of which. Damn Germans. Always speaking in code.
 
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