who dat? contest:

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"i know!"

yesterday's results:

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actress marcia gay harden

first correct answer:

sara astruc


Oh, man. I just conducted another celebrity interview and was ready to post it, but I just got a message from the Production Company wanting to meet with me - just an initial "let's meet, talk about the script" meeting. We’re playing phone tag right now but I might have to go in today so I need to prepare myself.

How do I prepare myself?

Um, OK. Well. One thing I learned is: Never Go Into A Meeting Without An Agenda.

OK, good. Good. Agenda. What’s my agenda?

"Hi, I want you to buy the script for One Million Dollars, let me play the part I wrote for myself, give me casting approval, director approval, approval over marketing/posters/trailers, etc., 10 percent of the gross (never the net, baby – there is no net), guarantee a theatrical release of at least 1500 screens, and give me a three picture housekeeping deal on the lot. What? The door. It’s that a-way? Oh, OK. Bye then."

Well, I could go with the polar opposite.

"Hi. Listen, I really appreciate the fact that you all like the script and I know my query was funny and all and the reviews of my plays appeared fairly impressive and the Nicholl thing was legitimizing but honestly, I don’t really know what I’m doing. I don’t really deserve to be in this room. It was just a lark, really. I was bored one day and started writing and for some reason finished and then did another draft and held a staged reading and did another and another, but it was really all a lark. Listen, do you know of any good VCR/TV repair schools because I should probably just pack up and move to Skokie and find a nice mid-western farm girl and buy a Ram truck and settle down so if you don’t mind I’ll just take those copies from you and be on my way. Sorry. Excuse me. By the way, I really liked P_________, great film. You guys rock. OK, I’ll be out of LA by Friday. Bye-bye now."

Alright, well. I suppose I should find a middle ground in there somewhere. But without an agent I really feel like a quarterback without a line, just standing there with the ball that for some strange reason large, potentially dangerous people want.

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

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Larry. You don’t have to turn on the red light. Those days are over. You don’t have to sell your body to the night… speaking of which, I’m no Bob Villa because when a light burns out at the ol’ King compound, I just ignore it, until one night I bump my shin on the coffee table on the way to sneak some extra mandel bread from the pantry. Boy, you know the next day I change that bulb!

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