I was going to take a look at the trades today, but there is absolutely nothing going on. Nothing. Calista Flockhart is doing the Vagina Monologues. Big deal. She is a Vagina Monologue. IMAX is doing a film of STOMP. 40 foot boots jumping around. Awesome. Metallica vs. Napster. Blah Blah Blah. Felicity is coming back. Whoopie. Oooh, this sounds good, "Midseason pickups include 'Dead Last,' about a struggling rock band that helps the dead." Fresh. Dead Last in the ratings. New night of 'Millionaire'. Great. Whatever. 'Jesus' gets good ratings. Of course he does... he's Jesus. Pierce Brosnan postpones wedding cuz drunk son still injured from car crash. Cool.

Oh look, Mace Neufeld, the guy who produced The General's Daughter is being honored by People Assisting the Homeless. Maybe he should be honored instead by Producer Responsible For Putting The Naked Bodies Of Dead Blondes On Screen For Just A Wee Bit Too Long. No actually, I'm just kidding, I don't think that's even a real group.

Michael Madsen doing a remake of High Noon. Man, that's just wrong on so many levels. David Gianopoulos just got cast in something. Michael Chiklis too. Corey Page, also. Blah blah blah.

Man, this is a slow news day, to say the least. Entertainment Tonight's going to be all 17 minutes long. Mary Hart doing a tap dance routine just to stretch things out. On Access Hollywood, Pat O'Brien's going to demonstrate his morning grooming ritual for keeping his mustache looking so nice and fluffy.

Yawn, I'm bored. Hey, for all you who think I'm this big drunk cuz I talk about drinking all the time - peep this: Five of us went out to Mexican Food today and the drink orders were, 4 Margaritas, and 1 Diet Coke. Guess who had the Diet Coke?

So there, put the number for AA away. Thank you.

Oh man, this is a slow slow day. We have all sorts of good-bye lunches and bowling and events and drinks coming up this week. I'm tired just thinking about it. A former co-worker, now at a new company, calls the environment here, comparatively, "TOXIC". Ooh, that's not good. Speaking of toxic... I'm going to go get me another Diet Coke.

So nothing worth writing about is popping into my head. My hair sucks today. And the collar on this shirt is pissing me off. I'm very weird about that shit. I cannot ever wear a turtleneck, because I just feel constricted. It drives me insane. Or even when a t-shirt collar is too tight, I just tug on it all day. And wearing a tie: forgetaboutit. You practically have to give me some Cat Tranq. or bop me on the head like getting Mr. T. on an airplane to get me in a tie. It's not pretty.

I felt really sick yesterday: a cold, so I sat on the couch all night in my bathrobe and got sleep and woke up this morning, almost feeling 100%. Really strange. Maybe it was just allergies. Maybe...

Alright, obviously I have nothing to say, so I'm going to go home. Sleep well.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY: I went to the store to buy myself an eskimo pie, but they were out. So i went to another store, and they were out too. I went to one more, and they were also out of eskimo pies, so i was like, "what, is there an eskimo convention in town or something???", but the cashier didn't laugh at all. So i bought a fudge pop instead.

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

 
 
Visiting is pretty. Visiting is good. Seems that all they ever wanted was a brother. This can be a secret. We can keep it good. Even all the ever wanting had a problem. This is a call to all my past resignations. It's been too long. Fingernails are pretty. Fingernails are good. Seems that all they ever wanted was a marking. Them balloons are pretty. Big and say they should, ever fall to ground call the magic marker... Fingernails are good. They are good for a lot of things. Mine are sort of black and misshapen, but I can still use them great for all sorts of things. I scrape the anchovy innards from the bottom of the tin when I'm watching those bums the Mets and Debbie is out with her knitting circle or whatever it is she does most nights, dressed all pretty. Fingernails are also good for getting the cracker bits from between my caps and they are also very good for pointing. I point at the stupid cue card girl at work all the time. "Hey, cue card girl," I say. "Who does a scary old jew bastard have to schtup around here to get someone to write the next exit line big enough for him to see???" And I'm pointing while I yell this. I can make her cry about 40% of the time. So usually I drop by her office afterwards and leave a dollar on her desk just to make her feel better. But I draw a crown on George Washington's hat so she knows who it's from... get it?... King? The crown? Ha! I'm funny.
 
 
  home   back   index   next   howl