who dat? contest:

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"i know!"

yesterday's results:

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jack kerouac

first correct answer:

no one got it right.
i'm quite ashamed of you all.

Sonnet XXVI: Ode to E!

In rhyming couplets and iambic pentameter!

Oh E! Entertainment Television
To spread your gospel that is my mission
Thou art my one true sleeze and scandal fix
By troth you live on channel twenty-six
And why do I so dearly loveth thee?
You are but one click down from MTV
Fashion Emergency, it makes me sing
That Emme really takes the cake (whole thing)
And Leon’s so scary, queeny, and gross
But he’s more manly than Talk Soup’s new host
A.J. Benza strolls through the shadows dark
That trench coat makes him look just like a narc
He shows the underside of H’wood’s kitsch
And then he dost quoth, "Fame. Ain’t it a bitch."
Gossip Show: oh how they dish so smugly
The true scoop is how they're all so ugly
With bad fashion, Joan Rivers gets so miffed
Should she talketh with the world’s worst facelift
Her lips and eyes are stretched like they will burst
I take that back: William Shatner’s is worse
I once went and bought dog food at PetCo
Later that day I saw Steve Kametko
His sharp suits make other men look heinous
Who knew he was dating Greg Louganis
E!’s runway shows: models sway and ripple
But why is it that they can show nipple
E! True Hollywood Stories are pure glee
Oh please let them someday do one on me

The Larry King Happy Song Corner.

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Hello. Larry loves you. Won’t you tell Larry your name? Hello. Larry loves you. Let Larry jump in your game. Speaking of games, I am reminded of summer days on 32nd Street in Brooklyn. We’d return pop bottles to McDugan’s drugstore and buy snowcones with the pennies. We’d then play stickball against 31st Street until our mothers would call us in for supper. Boy, those were the days!

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