what part of "on the house" do you not
understand? It's Saturday and I’m at work again today. Truly pathetic. Drinking a diet coke and doing nothing. Nada. Haven’t even thought about thinking about considering doing anything related vaguely to what I’m right now getting paid $22.50 (overtime) an hour to do. That’s about 3 cents every 5 seconds. Wait… See, I just made 3 cents. …and another 3 cents. I bet Tom Cruise does the same thing when he’s on set. Takes a piss (do Scientologists have urethras?) and says to himself, "That piss cost Sony $47,000. Of course taxes takes 30%, 10% goes to ICM. 15% to my managers. 5% to my lawyers. 5% to my publicists. 10% to that asshole Victor as hush money so he won’t write the tell-all about my secret gay life. Hmmm, I should just have him killed already. Note to self: have Victor killed. Other note to self: caught a bit of ER the other night. Liked it. Good to see Edwards. Haven’t seen him in a while. Failed to start him on the glorious bridge to L. Ron Hubbard, but not everyone’s perfect, like me. He did loose his hair so that’s some karma. Ha ha ha. Note to self: have hair plugs re-done. Hmmm, that Best Boy is kind of cute. Maybe I’ll bring him a roll of Lifesavers from craft services. Nah, I’ll just have one of my assistants bring it over." Well, maybe he doesn’t say all of that. I’m angry. (yeah, so what’s new) My friend Robb called me up last night and said they were going to a bar where his friend Adam bartends so we could drink for free. Cool. Great. So I went and we sat and listened to really bad swing bands (When is this "craze" ending already?) and drank. Guinness gave way to Gin and Tonics which gave way to Tequila. So at the end of the night, the waitress brings over a tab for 100 dollars. Apparently Adam didn’t let her know we should be free and since it was already in the computer… Anyway, I spent 30 dollars when I really wanted to be laying on my couch watching Behind The Music. I’ve been trying to push myself to go out even when I don’t want to, but I tell ya, sometimes it ain’t worth it. This is where I let Larry King take over my body for a few minutes. Larry is out having a breast reduction.
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