who dat? contest

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"i know!"

previous results:

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actress lillian gish

first correct answer:

love them trades!

You may all feel sorry for me as I have to soon go to dental crown appointment #3. So with my short day, and with the strange lack of attention I’ve been paying to the goings on in the Industry lately, let’s take a look at the trades!

Zoinks! Ever-Popular Scooby-Doo Celebrates 30 Years. The piece goes on to talk about an upcoming Scooby movie in which "leader Fred has hung up his dated scarlet neck scarf in favor of a hipper denim jacket and the boxy old ``Mystery Machine'' has been traded in for a sleeker minivan." I think it’s rather mean to throw Fred even further into the closet. I mean, after all these years you’d think Fred would be wearing platforms and declaring Daphne’s skirt to be "fabulous!" At least Velma’s still a lesbian. And isn’t the term "sleeker minivan" an oxymoron? Regardless, I’m still mourning the day when I found out that Casey Kasem was the voice of Shaggy. I mark that as the end of my childhood.

William Shatner's Wife Drunk When Drowned. I feel bad for the guy, but then when I see Shatner with his Worst Male Facelift Ever, I just think: ew.

Unabomber's Brother In Movie Pact With Disney. David Kaczynski will help make a movie about what it’s like to be a sibling of one of America’s most dangerous criminals. Poor Walt must be rolling over in his subzero cryogenic wacko-capsule.

Michael Douglas Urges Albanians To Hand In Guns. And in a related story, Albania urges Michael Douglas to hand in Catherine Zeta-Jones.

''Rage'' misfires. In a review of a new indie film, the Variety reviewer says of the writer, "…and some of his dialogue is clever (Warren snaps, ‘A cheap whore may get you off, but never a cheap attorney’)." This is clever dialogue? I’ve seen better lines on Gary Busey’s glass coffee table.

Angus MacFadyen (``Braveheart'') and Penelope Ann Miller have landed the starring roles in the romantic comedy ``A Woman's a Helluva Thing.'' The very mention of Penelope Ann Miller makes me laugh, and yet feel strangely melancholy at the same time.

Dale Evans In Good Spirits After Heart Attack. Yee-haw!!! Now if I could just have me one of them strokes!

Columbia Pictures has decided to move the release date of its family drama "Hanging Up"--starring Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton and Lisa Kudrow--from Christmas Day to Feb. 11, citing the crush of competition. OK folks, quick Hollywood PR glossary:

Crush of competition = the movie sucks
Left a project due to scheduling conflicts = his ass was fired
Left a project due to creative differences = he was drunk every day on set
In rehab for addiction to pain killers = doing 8 grams of coke before each take
Married to Kelly Preston = gay

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

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Open your doors, I’ll be your tenant. Don’t have much baggage to lay at your feet. But sweet kisses Larry’s got to spare. I’ll be there, and I’ll cover you. I know they meant it when they said you can’t buy love. But I know you can rent it, a new lease you are my love. On life. Be Larry’s life… speaking of which. Come here baby. Sit on Larry’s lap. You know I’ve been with lots of dames in my day, but you’re special. You’re the cat’s meow, baby, and I’m not just saying that. What’s that baby? Oh, sure, you can get off grandpa’s lap.

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