just a joke

Good people. I'm sorry but I have no time to write today. Instead, I'm going to share with you one of my favorite jokes of all time. Sorry for the slack.

A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play."

The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks.

The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner.

The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars."

The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!"

The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get its pajama's off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

The Robert Downey Jr. Happy Song Corner


What I dream I had, dressed in organdy. Clothed in crinoline, of smoky Burgundy. Softer than the rain. I wandered empty streets, down past the shop displays. I heard cathedral bells, tripping down the alley ways. As I walked on. And when you ran to me your cheeks flushed with the night. We walked on frosted fields of juniper and lamplight. I held your hand. And when I awoke and felt you warm and near, I kissed your honey hair with my grateful tears. Oh I love you, girl. Oh, I love you... speaking of which. In prison I helped a "friend" paint the walls of his cell. He wanted to go with a teal green and I told him it was tacky, especially with the western light. Well, I can't tell you what I had to do to get him to agree with me to go with the Burgundy, but I can say that referring to myself as "an Oscar Nominee" did not help.
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