So the Olympics have apparently scared a lot of studios away from releasing big things here. What we get are few.

Almost Famous. Awful title. Hate this fucking title. Hate it. I took them this long (it was untitled for all of production) to come up with Almost Famous? But I love Cameron Crowe to death. He's one of the best storytellers around, even if I didn't believe the romance in Jerry Maguire at all. This is one I'm going to see opening week for sure. They're planning on platforming it just like American Beauty. Even opening it on the same day. We'll see. (Ooh, but Goldie spawn Kate Hudson is in it and she makes me mad.)

Remember the Titans. Uh... I really really love Denzel, and football, but there are so many football movies right now, they're starting to blend together. Shit, I didn't even realize The Replacements was out. I'm lukewarm. Rental.

Nurse Betty. Yeah. Very excited to see this. Morgan Freeman has been absent for a while. And I like Neil Labute's work so far. Can't wait to see what he'll do with someone else's script. I've heard good things about it, too.

The Way of the Gun. Fuck that shit. Fuck Ryan Phillippe. But I like Christopher McQuarrie's writing, so we'll see - he might have something good planned. He's obviously smart enough. On the other hand, I'm so fucking sick of "heist"-type pictures. For real.

Girlfight. Hit at Sundance. Not big on boxing and especially women's boxing. Maybe.

Dancer in the Dark. New Lars von Trier movie. Fucking Dogma95 pisses me off, as does the notion of Bjork acting, but it looks good. Dammit. Plus it has David Morse - WHO I have loved since St. Elsewhere, all you Kymmie-Come-Latelys.

October:

Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows. Um... I don't know. The first one scared me... a lot. This one may suck shit, and I'm almost hoping it does. I'm intrigued. Very. I don't like that it's new kids looking for the original three kids though.

Lucky Numbers. Kudrow. Travolta. Lottery scam. Could be good but Nora Ephron ruins everything. Right now I want to see it. That could change.

Bedazzled. That's with the Brendan Frasier and the devil, yeah? OK, no. I think the Spanish drug lord thing looks funny, but that's about it.

Meet the Parents. Stiller and DeNiro. I really have no idea what DeNiro is thinking these days and don't fucking trust the guy since the first second I heard he was doing Rocky & Bulwinkle, but this looks at least mildly entertaining. Maybe. Or it's a rental.

Pay It Forward. This is one of the few I'm really dying to see. Helen Hunt I can overlook. Spacey and Haley Joel Osment! Supposedly a very different kind of film. Positive message. Not preachy. Intriguing concept. Great fucking cast. I'm hoping...

Dr. T and the Women. I don't know, man. I love Altman but hate Richard Gere. They sort of cancel each other out here. And here's good ol' bitch-face Helen Hunt again.

Novemember:

Legend of Bagger Vance. Uh... naw. Golf as a metaphor for life. Will Smith as a mystical fucking caddie. Matt Damon. Naw. No thanks. Naw.

Charlie's Angels. A case where slathering promotion has turned me off. I'll probably end up seeing it for the Chicks Kick Ass and the Bill Murray factors, but I don't want to. I'm almost sure it'll suck.

Red Planet. Oh, man. I don't know. Val Kilmer makes me tired. Space movies make me tired. Tom Sizemore makes me crazy tired. Movies about Earth dying makes me tired. Maybe. If it's supposed to be good. Ooh, but Carrie-Anne Moss is in it. And Terence Stamp. I like them. I don't know, man. Maybe. Don't push me.

Little Nicky. Oh, hell no. I made a moratorium on Adam Sandler movies after The Wedding Singer and I kept it through Big Daddy despite having a friend in the film, and I don't plan on giving up now. (But Paul Thomas Anderson just signed to do a Sandler movie [I know!], so it might not last much longer.)

Men of Honor. On one hand: war. Cuba Gooding Jr. DeNiro. Diving. Hal Holbrook. Charlize might get naked at the drop of a hat. On the other hand: Cuba Gooding Jr. (only because he ruined my birthday dinner last year. DeNiro. Charlize probably won't get naked. Fucking Michael Rapaport. So probably not.

Original Sin. Ha - Yahoo brought up a 1989 film with Ann Jillian when I looked for this. Yo, that shit rocked! No, this one is with Banderas, who makes my skin crawl, and Angelina, who makes my skin do something else. And it's supposed to be about sex. Hmmm. OK. I'll do it. You know you will too.

The 6th Day. Something about Ahnold and cloning. No.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas. You know, there's really not a scenario in which I can imagine this being any good, but I know I'll see it anyway, along with everyone else. Can this be good? Is there any way? Can you come up with a scenario where this is good? Cuz I sure can't.

102 Dalmatians. No comment, except this: Disney better fucking make sure they don't let the Dalmatian slaughter that happened after the original (with people buying them as puppies, realizing they're high-strung, and then turning them in to pounds) happen again. Seriously.

Unbreakable. OK. Hell fucking yes. The website rules. It's M. Night Shamalalmamamayalaman's follow-up to The Sixth Sense. This movie is going to make dollars y'all. Bruce Willis is in it again, but so is Samuel L. Jackson. Check out the trailer. It's pretty fucking cool.

You Can Count on Me. By hit underground New York playwright Kenneth Lonergan. With Laura Linney and Matt Broderick and Mark Ruffalo, who was supposedly so good in Lonergan's last play... shit, I can't remember the title. Anyway, looks like a nice small drama-comedy thing.

December:

Vertical Limit. I laughed so hard when I heard about this movie. Chris O'Donnell and Bill Paxton and Scott Glenn climbing mountains and shit. I laugh because someone somewhere got the idea that Chris O'Donnell is a viable A-List leading man, and someone else bought into that, just cuz of the Batman movies. This has bomb written all over the motherfucker.

Proof of Life. Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe and mountains and hostages and shit. Sure. I'll see that, despite knowing nothing about it, other than about the affair thing, and that's supposedly over. I heard they are both Val Kilmer-sized nightmare pricks, but that doesn't mean the movie won't be any good.

What Women Want. Mel Gibson with powers where he can hear the thoughts of women. Helen Hunt again, who is in every movie this winter. I'll see this shit. Sure. I liked the notion of it when I first heard of the script selling. And I'd like to support Nancy Meyers, being a female director (her, not me). And Mel can be funny and rarely gets to be. (Damn, again with the Helen Hunt! Jesus!)

Family Man. Brett Ratner directs Nic Cage in what sounds like an interesting concept - duel lives sort of thing with a businessman waking up to find himself living a blue collar life. Jeremy Piven rules and I like Tea Leoni a lot. Brett Ratner's a young punk, but he went to NYU too, so I'll give him a chance. And hey, I liked Rush Hour just fine.

Cast Away. Yeah, man. Hanks stranded on an island. Zemeckis directing. Sure I'll go. I won't want to, but I will. I'll just admit it now. (Fucking shit: can Helen Hunt, like, not be in one movie!)

13 Days. Hee. Hell no. Costner. Hee.

Enemy at the Gates. Jude Law and Ralph Fiennes in the same movie. Dude. Don't bring a date to this, men. You'll lose by comparison. (Or benefit from the warming effects of those two on women.)

Miss Congeniality. Yeah, I don't know. You gotta do something pretty special to get me to go to a Sandra Bullock movie. Really. I doubt it. I'll probably end up renting it one day and watching only half. That's my early prediction.

Moulin Rouge. A Baz Lurhman musical with Nicole Kidman, I think. I don't know. If he hadn't made us listen to that goddamn "Sunscreen" song over and over I might be more interested.

All The Pretty Horses. Matt Damon. Eh. But Henry Thomas was very good in Niagra Niagra. I don't know. I'm not, like, excited to see it, but I might.

The Gift. Oh man, my girlfriend Cate Blanchett is in this. And it's about a psychic. And Billy Bob Thornton (who directed All The Pretty Horses) wrote it. But why does Giovanni Ribisi have to come along and ruin everything? I'll see it. Yeah. Despite the fact that Sam Raimi directed it - I like him a lot, but after that Costner baseball movie, I'm mad mad mad at him. Mad.

Scattered around these mostly bigger releases are a handful of other things I truly want to see. The Coen's O Brother, Where Are Thou?, Christopher Guest's newest mockumentary, Best In Show, Requiem for a Dream, but only because it's the Pi director Darren Aronofsky's second film, Soderbergh's troubled Traffic, the Joan Allen/Jeff Bridges (rock!) starrer The Contender, and Mamet's high-buzz State and Main.

So that's what's coming up. Can Hollywood redeem 2000 before it ends? Let's hope so.

But, you know, it's pretty much up to Helen Hunt.

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*THREE WAY ACTION*
(The Forum)

Talk about everything under your mom, including
2000, the year in film, to come!

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The Anna Nicole Smith Happy Song Corner

 
 
Anna is having "back pains".
 
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