ben & jerry & empathy

My co-workers here at the Evil Empire just dragged me to free scoop day at Ben and Jerry’s. Standing in line there, surrounded by other cubicle dwellers and little kids, their bodies giddily anticipating the sugar rush, I begun to feel really silly. That here we all were, full grown adults driving out of our way for free ice cream. I felt so strange that I put 2 bucks in a donation cup for a deceased fireman’s family, thereby effectively spending more money than if I had gone and just bought a damn cone on any other day.

Last 2 days donation tally = $7.00
Previous 6 months donation tally = $2.00

I’m throwing money at problems left and right alla sudden. Think what’ll happen when I actually have money to throw around… I’ll probably horde it.

So in line waiting for some cookie dough, I began to feel something I couldn’t quite identify. Deeper than silly. Stronger than embarrassed. I began to feel sad. Sad for my departed childhood, when ice cream just fucking rocked and I didn’t give a thought to the millions of starving people who’ve never seen ice cream, let alone… ice. I looked at the little kids, at the photo of the dead fireman, at the sad Hispanic girls hunched down in the cold scooping up cone after cone, and you know what? I ordered a sugar cone of Cookie Dough. And it tasted great.

Perhaps this is a good sign that my recent existential depression is coming to an end and I can look ahead to times when I’ll be able to again ignore the suffering, saddness, and lonliness of the world around me and empathize with no one. But even then, when I no longer notice every bit of bad and wish I could end it, I’ll still pass old age homes and hope everyone in there is lucid and happily playing Canasta. And while it occasionally makes things difficult, it’s part of what makes me a great fucking guy.

This is where I let Larry King take over my body for a few minutes.

Michael Stipe could sing the Eight is Enough theme and make me wanna buy the single…you should run right out and get Mezzaine by Massive Attack...i have a new obsession: Sim City (more soon)...i have 20 spaces on my phone's speed-dial, and changing the people is painful to me, like excising someone from your life...