Hey kids. Sorry I've been gone. Some big things have been happening. I'll let you guess what the main one is. One of these is correct:

1) I just got hired to be on the new Big Brother.

2) Arnold Kopelson read the play I wrote the other day and wants to turn it into a sitcom with Tim Daly, Debi Mazar, and Samantha Mathis, and Xzhibit.

3) gave me my entire wishlist for my upcoming birthday, except for the electric can opener which they thought was gay.

4) My cat won a local Miss Personality contest, and I have to travel to Tulsa for the finals.

5) I'm getting fired.

Okay, yeah. I'm getting fired. Today (Friday) will be my last day, unless they get me two weeks notice, which is uncertain right now. I'm a bit pissed but fine with it. Here's the situation. I'm a temp. I've been a temp for them for over three years now. They have a six month max policy on temps. They offered to hire me a year ago and I told them fine, if I have to in order to stay on. They never did anything about it. Now they're cracking down on their policy.

What I need to know, if anyone knows, is this: how much trouble can I get them in for labor violations for having kept a temp for three years. They're now just trying to quietly and quickly get rid of me, but I would like, well, I'd like to force them to give me a big fat compensation package. Because by keeping me for three years, they've basically made me a defacto employee, but have gotten away with not having to pay me benefits. So yeah, I'm pissed how they're unceremoniously letting me go. But I also genuinely would like something to get me by, as with the upcoming strike, jobs are going to be hard to come by with all the out of work actors and writers hustling around town. And while I don't really believe in unemployment (I'm not doubting its existence, I just don't quite think able-bodied people, fired or not, should take it), I guess I'm going to look into that as well -- whether or not I can qualify as a long-term temp.

Anyhoo, if anyone knows anything about HR and stuff, please let me know.

Anyway, I might be packing my shit up when I get into work today (I'm writing in the morning, it's a different experience.) So, I wish I could leave you with something funny. Um... Oooh, here's something good. If I leave, I can start telling some of the details of my job, which are pretty fucking funny. Silver lining, y'all!

The Robert Downey Jr. Happy Song Corner


Downey is getting boxes ready.
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