Bringing Out The Drunk

Poor Tom Sizemore.

About a year and a half ago I saw the Howard Stern show on E! and had to call people into the room to have them confirm what I was seeing: that the actor was dating -- actually dating -- Miss Heidi Fleiss.

I've never been addicted to drugs or alcohol, so I don't know, but exactly how can one find oneself sitting in the Howard Stern studio with the former Hollywood Madam, and think somehow that something isn't wrong in one's life? Or do you know? Do you know the car is going 100 mph and your hands aren't on the wheel and still, you just can't find the brakes? Or do you think, "Shit, Heidi's a good woman. So, she ran a prostitution ring. Everyone has their demons. And I just do crack a little bit. But just for fun, man. Michael Madsen, he can handle his shit. I'm just like him."

Although, Val Kilmer did just reveal that Madsen had to borrow a significant amount of money from him a few years ago so his wife didn't have to go get a job.

Just watching Sizemore on screen, it wasn't hard to deduce that something was probably going on to create that volitility and imprecise acting style, not to mention the frequent startling weight gains. (The only mystery was why he was hired so often by such A-list directors.) And when you couple that with his off-screen behavior, why were his friends/agents/parents not holding daily interventions? "Good morning, Tom. It's 10am. Time for your intervention. Here's some coffee."

A friend of mine is a sports reporter, and he was covering the ESPY's two years ago. I wish I still had the email, (I suddenly feel like I've already talked about this. Let me know if I have.), but basically there was a press area and stars were coming up and being asked questions like, "If you weren't an actor and had instead gone into sports, what would you have done?" And Tom Sizemore got up there and rambled for about half an hour. THEN, when they finally got him off the stage, he stole my friend's sandwich from his plate, then apparently, remembering that he had a lot more to say, ran up on stage again during Wayne Gretzky's interview time, and proceeded to expound for another fifteen minutes.

Good luck, funny man. I hope you get the help you need. I also hope that during your 7th step or whatever in which you make reparations for those you hurt, you pay my friend back for the sandwich.

...on a side note: isn't it rather ironic that the hot new rehab place is called "Promises." Isn't that what people around you are sick and tired of you constantly breaking by the time you reach the point of having to enter a facility?

...Terribly wrong thing heard last night while I was talking on the phone with a friend -- I was heading to a party for the AIDS Walk L.A. & he was going to see The Station Agent:

STEE: Alright. I better go. Talk to you later.
FRANK: Have fun at your AIDS party.
STEE: Have fun at your midget movie.

...Also, I'm just tallying up the 80's movies votes and will post the results soon.